ATLANTA, GA -- Last week I heard a speaker at a conference tell a touching story about her 5th grade teacher. Seems this speaker, when she was a little girl, was shy, lacked confidence, and had few friends. Her teacher took her aside one day while her classmates were at recess, and gave her very encouraging, inspiring words she has never forgotten. To this day, she vividly remembers the moment -- and how her spirit lifted, her shoulders squared, and an ear-to-ear smile became etched on her face.
By her own admission, it was a turning point in her life. One, she says, that she recalls fondly and frequently when she needs a jolt of motivation. She added: "Those sterling words, on a day no more significant than any other, gave a lonely kid a bright future."
Wow. As I listened, a thought flew through my mind: I wondered if this lady had ever told her 5th grade teacher how her uplifting words on that day long ago had altered the course of her life every day since. Did she ever return to the school to tell her in person … pick up the phone and have a conversation … send her a card or note … or maybe (today) an email.
Or, did she, like most of us, never again make contact with her source of inspiration?
I was too curious, so I approached her after the speech. And I asked. Turns out, she had not ever gone back. Hadn't called. Sent no card or note. Never said thanks.
Hmmmmmm.
And somewhere, in some city, sits that 5th grade teacher today. Maybe she's still teaching young children. Maybe she changed professions. Maybe she's long since retired. Or maybe she has passed on.
But wherever she is, she has no idea that her words that day more than 40 years ago -- words I'm willing to bet she forgot saying soon after -- created hope for a struggling young child. A child who today is a noble, worthy adult, who influences others, who has raised a fine family, and who has built a life on the very words the teacher doesn't remember saying.
We frequently tell stories about people who made a difference to us -- parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, co-workers, ministers, best friends. At times, it's even someone we've never met -- like the author of a book, actor in a movie, a pro athlete, an average person we read about in the paper, someone we saw on TV, or a person from centuries ago.
But even when it's someone we know, how often do we pick up the phone and tell those people we shared a wonderful story about them, and what they meant to us? We don't -- we just tell the story. And they never know.
Mother Teresa said "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." How true. And they'll have even more meaning if we will just tell the person who uttered them the power and influence they had on us.
What about you and your influence over others? Have you ever wondered: "Gee, have I ever done anything so noteworthy, so meaningful, so exceptionally wonderful … that right now, at this very minute, someone is telling a story to another person about that very thing I said or did?" It forces you to take stock of whether you're setting a good example for others … or bad. Assuming good, wouldn't you like to be told?
Lessons & Actions For You: There are two.
First, it's time to say thanks. Sit down and make out a list of all the people who positively influenced you the most. Think back to childhood, through your teen years, your young adulthood, and beyond … right on up to the present. This will take more than one sitting. Keep a running list and add to it when a new name and story pops to mind. Zig Ziglar tells about his "Wall of Gratitude" that contains pictures of all the people in his life who have helped shape him into the person he is. (Got an empty wall in your home?)
Then commit to yourself that you'll endeavor to contact each one and tell the story that touched you most, the one from which you draw inspiration, the one that gives you the boost you need. Don't be surprised if they don't remember it. Is there a greater gift you could give them? (How would you like to receive a phone call or letter with such a message?)
If you're like me, the number will be quite large. Don't overburden yourself to do it all in a few days or a week. Plan it out over several months or a year, if you must.
Second, commit right now that your decisions and behaviors going forward will be the kind that others will want to tell positive stories about well beyond your years. Commit to making whatever changes you need to make to stay in integrity, to live your values, to be respected by others, to inspire those who need it … and to be worthy of following, of quoting, and of being talked about in a positive light. If you're not sure what you need to change, go to the person in your life who is the most brutally honest with you and will tell it like it is, pulling no punches. Fasten your seat belt -- we all have some things that need fixin'.
To say thanks to others … and to behave in a way deserving of thanks yourself … are two of the most noble acts of life. Isn't that the kind of leader you want to be?
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Rick Houcek is President
of Soar With Eagles, Inc. He specializes in facilitating off-site strategic planning retreats, helping CEOs and Leadership Teams create high-impact plans that overcome the crippling effects of lousy execution (the single biggest cause of plan failure) -- and get successfully implemented.
Rick's dynamic Power Planning strategic process drives action through his Escape-Proof Accountability system. It's ideal for small and mid-size businesses. To bring this potent weapon to your team, contact Rick at www.SoarWithEagles.com.
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